iv. conflict of interest

I’m not even going to lie here – I had faith in this one. I really did. But to be fair, we didn’t meet on tinder. This one goes back about a year and a half.

I had a meeting at the bank one day with my parents to settle some finance related issues for school. It was the first time I actually had to meet with a financial advisor, so naturally, they gave me the new guy. It was love at first sight… with my parents in the room. Lovely. He was charming and funny and I had planned out our entire wedding and named our three kids before he could even sit me down in his office. From that day forward, I would find any excuse in the books to need to go to the bank and see my financial advisor. I wanted this one, and I wanted it bad. Meetings with him went from super professional to talking about our FOB grandparents and our school and common interests. I was smitten, and call me crazy, but I started to get the feeling that he was too.

My frequent bank meetings went on for approximately a year and I feared making a move because I knew that if this blew up I could never see him again and I wasn’t ready for that. 

About a year after we met, I found myself scrolling through tinder instead of studying and almost threw my phone out the window when I landed on his profile. My god was he ever cute. It had gone from an innocent crush to full-blown feelings for him, feelings I knew would never be possible to reciprocate. But what was the worst that could happen if I swiped right? Two minutes later (yes I counted, are you really surprised?) I got a notification that I had a new match and I nearly shat myself when I saw his name. So this could mean one of two things:

  1. He actually was into me and I wasn’t imagining the lingering handshakes
  2. He was one of those people who swipe when you know someone.

Please for the love of god and all that is holy, let it be the first one.

I made the first move for the first time in my entire life. I spent hours crafting a message that wasn’t too pushy but was just the right amount of flirty.

“Hey, I feel like you look super familiar… do I know you from somewhere?”

“I wonder what it says in my contract about matching with my clients”

And it blossomed from there. We would talk all day and into the night. I was on cloud 9, I had been waiting for this to happen for over a year. He was out with friends one night at a  beer pong tournament and was probably slightly more tipsy than I anticipated. Up until this point, I hadn’t convinced myself that he was actually into me, and he was just humoring me to avoid how awkward it could be if this progressed. But then he hit me with the “I’m really drunk and I’m doing everything I can right now to not say something inappropriate that I’m going to regret in the morning” message and I just about had a heart attack.

Okay, so this was a mutual attraction then? Stupid, idiot me convinced him he should get some sleep and we could talk in the morning instead of finding out how he really felt. The way we talked to each other after that night changed. He was far more flirty than he had ever been in our messages and I was living for the attention. Call me crazy but I really did like him, and even though there were a lot of factors we would have to get around for this one to work out, I actually had faith that this could work.

I had high hopes, until one morning about two weeks after we began talking and he had done the unthinkable. He was gone. His profile had disappeared and I’m not gonna lie and say I shook it off. I was devastated. What the literal fuck? Am I on Punk’d?

I stopped going to the bank for months. I couldn’t even think about having to look him in the eyes or fathom the thought of running into him after he singlehandedly broke my heart. I got over it eventually when another prospect came into the picture (more on that later – stay tuned, it’s a good one too). As perfect as he was, I was refusing to dwell on what could have been.

The worst part about it was having to find a new advisor… how inconsiderate of him. I couldn’t ever see him after this fiasco. On the bright side, he made my decision to find someone else really easy. I walked into the bank a few months after we stopped speaking only to see his name no longer on his door. Congratulations to you financial advisor for pulling off the best ghosting in history.

Forever a-loan.

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