x. 3 months

3 months. 3 months was all it took for me to stupidly fall for his boyish charm, his constant willingness to cuddle, his kisses that had the ability to make me weak in the knees. 3 months was all it took for me to question my values, to seriously consider if he could be the one. If I was ready to take the plunge and give my all to him. 3 months is all it took for me to see his true colours. 3 months was all it took for me to fall in love and have my heart broken into a million pieces.  Continue reading “x. 3 months”

viii. to new beginnings

The four days following our new years together were heartbreaking for me. And then it got even worse.

I didn’t realize that he wasn’t speaking to me until the afternoon of the 2nd. I had just figured he was busy with family stuff and a hangover after I dropped him off after breakfast and I didn’t want to continue to bother him, but I realized something was wrong the next morning when I was still not getting any replies. He would open all of my snapchats and not reply and was also ignoring my text messages. Of course, I knew immediately what was going on, but I don’t think I was ready to admit to myself that this was all about my decision to not put out.  Continue reading “viii. to new beginnings”

vii. 5 words changed everything

The evening of December 31, 2016 will go down in history as one of the most memorable nights of my life as a result of 5 words.

Side hoe turned boyfriend and I had made plans to stay in the city for the big night as per my request. He graciously offered to tag along with whatever it was that my friends wanted to do that evening and I took him up on the offer. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally have him meet my friends on the rare occasion that everyone was in the same city. The idea of not getting to see each other after our night on the town wasn’t appealing to either one of us, so we agreed to get a hotel room walking distance from the club we would be ringing in the new year at. Before everyone starts to jump down my throat after the Great Niagara Falls Fiasco of Blog 6, getting a hotel room was my idea and sex was still off the table. Nothing had changed in that department.  Continue reading “vii. 5 words changed everything”

vi. thin ice

The next few months were a whirlwind of emotions for me. Things between the side hoe and I picked up at lightning speed and it was the happiest I had been in a long time. It began to feel like we spent more of our time together than we did apart. Dinner dates, a quick late night bite to eat after work, coffee, shopping, skating, we did it all.

I’ll be the first one to admit I agreed to do things with him I didn’t even see coming. After the day of the hickey incidents (emphasis on the plural hickeys. Still very bitter about those), it was like a spark had been lit and there was no turning back. A lot of firsts for me happened in his car. Like I said in the past, he was fun. We had fun. Despite letting him do essentially everything else he wanted to do with me, I drew the line at going all the way with him and he respected that. He knew, and I continued to make it very clear, that sex was not something I was ready for with him. Or at least I thought he did.  Continue reading “vi. thin ice”