Sometimes, tinder brings someone into your life that really helps you out.
Take matching with paragraphs for example. Paragraphs was a seemingly sweet boy who’s bio stated that he had been persuaded by friends to make an account after his last relationship ended and was interested in talking to someone to see where things go. He gets his name from his apparent need to send messages in the form of unnecessary, long-winded paragraphs. Don’t get me wrong, being able to have a good conversation with someone is really important, but does it always have to be deep and thought provoking? Continue reading “xi. just a dash of spice”
Before I get into this one (and it’s a long one so stay tuned) there are a few things you should know. We will be referring to this one as the side hoe because that’s actually how things started out between us. Side hoe began messaging me when things were still going strong with the financial advisor and I never really gave him the time of day. I was dry with my replies – if I ever did come around to messaging him back. To be fair, he was the biggest fuckboy when things between us started, that he’s lucky I didn’t unmatch him at the beginning. His opening line was something along the lines of “you deserve food, massages, and orgasms in your life”. My response was about as dry as the Sahara Desert – “ok”. I should have known from that moment that this was going to be the biggest mistake I had ever made in my life. Continue reading “v. the side hoe”
After my unfortunate meeting with econ boy, it was onto bigger and better things. I was ready to put my disaster of a first meetup behind me and pray to the high heavens that the next boy I encountered was not as painfully boring as he was. They couldn’t all be that bad right? (Spoiler alert: I’ll later find out they are all horrible)
I began talking to Harambye in the early fall of 2016. He gets his name from his decision to attend Halloween parties dressed up as Harambe – how creative and totally not basic at all of him, I know. Continue reading “ii. take a hike”