Sometimes, tinder brings someone into your life that really helps you out.
Take matching with paragraphs for example. Paragraphs was a seemingly sweet boy who’s bio stated that he had been persuaded by friends to make an account after his last relationship ended and as interested in talking to someone to see where things go. He gets his name from his apparent need to send messages in the form of unnecessary, long-winded paragraphs. Don’t get me wrong, being able to have a good conversation with someone is really important, but does it always have to be deep and thought provoking? Continue reading “xi. just a dash of spice”
Getting myself back onto tinder after the breakup made me feel a mixture of emotions. I felt kind of weird putting myself back out there, but it was my one last fuck you I’m better without you to side hoe so I bit the bullet and did it one night. And boy, am I ever glad I got myself back out there because now I have so many entertaining stories to share with the world. I forgot in the short time I was with side hoe how tragically entertaining the tinder world could be, and how cute boys were. I feel like I had a new confidence going back into the dating world now. I wasn’t afraid to go after what I wanted and I wasn’t going to take anyone’s bullshit. I was fully equipped for this now. I felt different somehow. Continue reading “ix. on again, off again”
The four days following our new years together were heartbreaking for me. And then it got even worse.
I didn’t realize that he wasn’t speaking to me until the afternoon of the 2nd. I had just figured he was busy with family stuff and a hangover after I dropped him off after breakfast and I didn’t want to continue to bother him, but I realized something was wrong the next morning when I was still not getting any replies. He would open all of my snapchats and not reply and was also ignoring my text messages. Of course, I knew immediately what was going on, but I don’t think I was ready to admit to myself that this was all about my decision to not put out. Continue reading “viii. to new beginnings”
The evening of December 31, 2016 will go down in history as one of the most memorable nights of my life as a result of 5 words.
Side hoe turned boyfriend and I had made plans to stay in the city for the big night as per my request. He graciously offered to tag along with whatever it was that my friends wanted to do that evening and I took him up on the offer. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally have him meet my friends on the rare occasion that everyone was in the same city. The idea of not getting to see each other after our night on the town wasn’t appealing to either one of us, so we agreed to get a hotel room walking distance from the club we would be ringing in the new year at. Before everyone starts to jump down my throat after the Great Niagara Falls Fiasco of Blog 6, getting a hotel room was my idea and sex was still off the table. Nothing had changed in that department. Continue reading “vii. 5 words changed everything”
The next few months were a whirlwind of emotions for me. Things between the side hoe and I picked up at lightning speed and it was the happiest I had been in a long time. It began to feel like we spent more of our time together than we did apart. Dinner dates, a quick late night bite to eat after work, coffee, shopping, skating, we did it all.
I’ll be the first one to admit I agreed to do things with him I didn’t even see coming. After the day of the hickey incidents (emphasis on the plural hickeys. Still very bitter about those), it was like a spark had been lit and there was no turning back. A lot of firsts for me happened in his car. Like I said in the past, he was fun. We had fun. Despite letting him do essentially everything else he wanted to do with me, I drew the line at going all the way with him and he respected that. He knew, and I continued to make it very clear, that sex was not something I was ready for with him. Or at least I thought he did. Continue reading “vi. thin ice”
Before I get into this one (and it’s a long one so stay tuned) there are a few things you should know. We will be referring to this one as the side hoe because that’s actually how things started out between us. Side hoe began messaging me when things were still going strong with the financial advisor and I never really gave him the time of day. I was dry with my replies – if I ever did come around to messaging him back. To be fair, he was the biggest fuckboy when things between us started, that he’s lucky I didn’t unmatch him at the beginning. His opening line was something along the lines of “you deserve food, massages, and orgasms in your life”. My response was about as dry as the Sahara Desert – “ok”. I should have known from that moment that this was going to be the biggest mistake I had ever made in my life. Continue reading “v. the side hoe”
I’m not even going to lie here – I had faith in this one. I really did. But to be fair, we didn’t meet on tinder. This one goes back about a year and a half.
I had a meeting at the bank one day with my parents to settle some finance related issues for school. It was the first time I actually had to meet with a financial advisor, so naturally, they gave me the new guy. It was love at first sight… with my parents in the room. Lovely. He was charming and funny and I had planned out our entire wedding and named our three kids before he could even sit me down in his office. From that day forward, I would find any excuse in the books to need to go to the bank and see my financial advisor. I wanted this one, and I wanted it bad. Meetings with him went from super professional to talking about our FOB grandparents and our school and common interests. I was smitten, and call me crazy, but I started to get the feeling that he was too.
My frequent bank meetings went on for approximately a year and I feared making a move because I knew that if this blew up I could never see him again and I wasn’t ready for that. Continue reading “iv. conflict of interest”