Sometimes, tinder brings someone into your life that really helps you out.
Take matching with paragraphs for example. Paragraphs was a seemingly sweet boy who’s bio stated that he had been persuaded by friends to make an account after his last relationship ended and as interested in talking to someone to see where things go. He gets his name from his apparent need to send messages in the form of unnecessary, long-winded paragraphs. Don’t get me wrong, being able to have a good conversation with someone is really important, but does it always have to be deep and thought provoking? Continue reading “xi. just a dash of spice”
Getting myself back onto tinder after the breakup made me feel a mixture of emotions. I felt kind of weird putting myself back out there, but it was my one last fuck you I’m better without you to side hoe so I bit the bullet and did it one night. And boy, am I ever glad I got myself back out there because now I have so many entertaining stories to share with the world. I forgot in the short time I was with side hoe how tragically entertaining the tinder world could be, and how cute boys were. I feel like I had a new confidence going back into the dating world now. I wasn’t afraid to go after what I wanted and I wasn’t going to take anyone’s bullshit. I was fully equipped for this now. I felt different somehow. Continue reading “ix. on again, off again”
The next few months were a whirlwind of emotions for me. Things between the side hoe and I picked up at lightning speed and it was the happiest I had been in a long time. It began to feel like we spent more of our time together than we did apart. Dinner dates, a quick late night bite to eat after work, coffee, shopping, skating, we did it all.
I’ll be the first one to admit I agreed to do things with him I didn’t even see coming. After the day of the hickey incidents (emphasis on the plural hickeys. Still very bitter about those), it was like a spark had been lit and there was no turning back. A lot of firsts for me happened in his car. Like I said in the past, he was fun. We had fun. Despite letting him do essentially everything else he wanted to do with me, I drew the line at going all the way with him and he respected that. He knew, and I continued to make it very clear, that sex was not something I was ready for with him. Or at least I thought he did. Continue reading “vi. thin ice”
Before I get into this one (and it’s a long one so stay tuned) there are a few things you should know. We will be referring to this one as the side hoe because that’s actually how things started out between us. Side hoe began messaging me when things were still going strong with the financial advisor and I never really gave him the time of day. I was dry with my replies – if I ever did come around to messaging him back. To be fair, he was the biggest fuckboy when things between us started, that he’s lucky I didn’t unmatch him at the beginning. His opening line was something along the lines of “you deserve food, massages, and orgasms in your life”. My response was about as dry as the Sahara Desert – “ok”. I should have known from that moment that this was going to be the biggest mistake I had ever made in my life. Continue reading “v. the side hoe”
After my unfortunate meeting with econ boy, it was onto bigger and better things. I was ready to put my disaster of a first meetup behind me and pray to the high heavens that the next boy I encountered was not as painfully boring as he was. They couldn’t all be that bad right? (Spoiler alert: I’ll later find out they are all horrible)
I began talking to Harambye in the early fall of 2016. He gets his name from his decision to attend Halloween parties dressed up as Harambe – how creative and totally not basic at all of him, I know. Continue reading “ii. take a hike”
My first ever Tinder meetup was a whirlwind of emotions for me.
There are a few things you should learn about me before we get into the story. First of all, as witty and charming as I may project myself via text, I’m a trembling, scared chihuahua when it comes to meeting someone in person for the first time. Second, I have a tendency to get overly excited, and thus prematurely attached to someone I barely even know.
With that being said, I feel we can continue on with the story of my first breakthrough into the wonderful world of tinder meetups. Continue reading “i. tutoring gone wrong”