For lack of a better word, 2017 was tragic for me. It was a tough year in a lot of ways. I lost a lot of people, I faced a lot of challenges, and I did a lot of stupid shit. Overall, this past year put me through the ringer. Honestly, my dating life in 2017 was the biggest joke and what better way to celebrate the shit show of a year being over than with one big long blog stating right from the top. Strap in folks, this is a long one. Continue reading “xiv. a thotful year in review”
Well, I’m back. And once again, I have somehow managed to find myself heartbroken. A lot has happened since I was last on here
I met the Hungarian in late March, and boy did he ever come on strong. I’ll be the first one to say that I was turned off by how honest he was with how much he liked me and it made me a little uncomfortable at the start to have someone talking about how badly they wanted to be with me. It took me a while to give into our first date but when I did, I knew there was no turning back. I was hooked on him and for the first time in a long time, things felt different. Like they actually had the potential to go somewhere. Continue reading “xii. hungary for more”
Sometimes, tinder brings someone into your life that really helps you out.
Take matching with paragraphs for example. Paragraphs was a seemingly sweet boy who’s bio stated that he had been persuaded by friends to make an account after his last relationship ended and was interested in talking to someone to see where things go. He gets his name from his apparent need to send messages in the form of unnecessary, long-winded paragraphs. Don’t get me wrong, being able to have a good conversation with someone is really important, but does it always have to be deep and thought provoking? Continue reading “xi. just a dash of spice”
Getting myself back onto tinder after the breakup made me feel a mixture of emotions. I felt kind of weird putting myself back out there, but it was my one last fuck you I’m better without you to side hoe so I bit the bullet and did it one night. And boy, am I ever glad I got myself back out there because now I have so many entertaining stories to share with the world. I forgot in the short time I was with side hoe how tragically entertaining the tinder world could be, and how cute boys were. I feel like I had a new confidence going back into the dating world now. I wasn’t afraid to go after what I wanted and I wasn’t going to take anyone’s bullshit. I was fully equipped for this now. I felt different somehow. Continue reading “ix. on again, off again”
The four days following our new years together were heartbreaking for me. And then it got even worse.
I didn’t realize that he wasn’t speaking to me until the afternoon of the 2nd. I had just figured he was busy with family stuff and a hangover after I dropped him off after breakfast and I didn’t want to continue to bother him, but I realized something was wrong the next morning when I was still not getting any replies. He would open all of my snapchats and not reply and was also ignoring my text messages. Of course, I knew immediately what was going on, but I don’t think I was ready to admit to myself that this was all about my decision to not put out. Continue reading “viii. to new beginnings”
The evening of December 31, 2016 will go down in history as one of the most memorable nights of my life as a result of 5 words.
Side hoe turned boyfriend and I had made plans to stay in the city for the big night as per my request. He graciously offered to tag along with whatever it was that my friends wanted to do that evening and I took him up on the offer. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally have him meet my friends on the rare occasion that everyone was in the same city. The idea of not getting to see each other after our night on the town wasn’t appealing to either one of us, so we agreed to get a hotel room walking distance from the club we would be ringing in the new year at. Before everyone starts to jump down my throat after the Great Niagara Falls Fiasco of Blog 6, getting a hotel room was my idea and sex was still off the table. Nothing had changed in that department. Continue reading “vii. 5 words changed everything”
The next few months were a whirlwind of emotions for me. Things between the side hoe and I picked up at lightning speed and it was the happiest I had been in a long time. It began to feel like we spent more of our time together than we did apart. Dinner dates, a quick late night bite to eat after work, coffee, shopping, skating, we did it all.
I’ll be the first one to admit I agreed to do things with him I didn’t even see coming. After the day of the hickey incidents (emphasis on the plural hickeys. Still very bitter about those), it was like a spark had been lit and there was no turning back. A lot of firsts for me happened in his car. Like I said in the past, he was fun. We had fun. Despite letting him do essentially everything else he wanted to do with me, I drew the line at going all the way with him and he respected that. He knew, and I continued to make it very clear, that sex was not something I was ready for with him. Or at least I thought he did. Continue reading “vi. thin ice”